Hydrashoks...another excellent hi'ya doin. Good penetration but not so much as to exit out the other side. A definite pro for close quarters.
Agree with you on +P. If you need more stopping power than your aim and round can provide, go bigger.
Glock 17 great weapon not so great as CCW.
Go with your gut on 43.
If you feel confident in handling Glock 19...ding ding ding we have a winner. The best weapon is the one you can employ with proficiency and precision.
Get the weapon that makes you and your bride comfortable and proficient. You might be surprised with how similar handguns have very different feels across the brands and mag lengths.