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Just a thought: If you were to somehow get your mother on Medicaid, they would be able to provide a caregiver in the home during the day, multiple days/week. If that's not the route you wanted to go, they would actually pay you or your wife as "caregivers". Its not much, but it helps with lost...

I've never personally experienced it, but have worked in healthcare for over 20 years and have witnessed the difficulties it can put on families. What stinks is how expensive it is to hire personal caregivers to assist some during the day or night and health insurance companies don't cover those...