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Prrraiise Jesus! Can I get a amen?

John Candy!? I mean, he's dead, but what a great guy. I'll take the compliment. Congrats on such an impactful and well-received thread.

Wow. Impressive. I bow to your intellectual gravitas. So creative of you to think of something really easy and obvious and go with that.

Yeah, he's definitely, definitely gonna regret trying to help his alma mater. If it doesn't pan out, all he'll have is millions of dollars, two championship rings, a gold jacket and more ***** on a Tuesday than you've had in your entire life. Poor guy. You should warn him.

What is this? What are you doing? It sounds like you're bringing sensible perspective... and... GASP!... logic to this board? This won't go well....

I donated to the billboard and now my arthritis is gone!

You sound like someone from... I don't know, Idaho, who's never been to Florida, let alone a 'Canes game, became a fan around 2003 (when you were... 14) and have been angry ever since. You have one ratty, old hat that you wear (the best Xmas gift you ever got), and probably keep a fish hook in...

BREAKING NEWS!: Miami team that has stunk since 2005 still stinks! Next up... it's clear and you need to drink it. How water can save your life.