Coaching What Miami Needs... Stripper + Monkey

[Empirical Cane]

Texas playing Star Trek chess while our Miami Hurricanes playing hopscotch.

TEXAS BYKE BÎTCHES!

Texas Coach's Stripper Girlfriend And Monkey Who Allegedly Bit Trick-Or-Treater Are Masters Of Their Craft

Getty Image / iStockphoto A recent report alleges that Texas special teams coordinator Jeff Banks' girlfriend's emotional support monkey bit a trick or

brobible.com

 

[SWFLHurricane]

Jesus Marsupial Christ....

 

[Bender]

for my bro @Rellyrell cause this **** never gets old lol

 

[TheEye]

If only Shapiro had used a monkey, we might be on our way to SEC by now.

 

[423Hurricane]

My question is what were you searching for when you found this?

Also, remember Patke is our special teams coach. If he had a stripper girlfriend, I can only imagine what she’d be dancing with.

 

[PIPO]

 

[305407cane]

Well this is a new one. But no monkey for us. This is the state of Florida. Only an alligator will do

 

[Da Jumbo Mutombo]

Lol not gonna lie. I read the title and was like wtf is he talking about.....

Then I read the post, and I was not expecting that at all, even though the title was accurately descriptive haha.

 

[BS85]

Would read again (seriously)

 

[Cane6]

My question is what were you searching for when you found this?

Also, remember Patke is our special teams coach. If he had a stripper girlfriend, I can only imagine what she’d be dancing with.

Patke is dumb enough to think he has a stripper GF

But in reality he is Butters from SouthPark when he thinks the waitress at Raisins is his GF

 

[Tad Footeball]

Cutty Sark watching his phone blow up with the details of this yesterday probably thought someone slipped a hallucinogenic in his 14th drink of the day.

 

[Empirical Cane]

Jesus Marsupial Christ....

You know ALL the OG Miami teams rolled with a biting monkey!!!

I'm sure the stories you could share....

 

[305407cane]

I kind of feel bad for sark. They’ve lost multiple games while leading. I think 3 of them. And he doesn’t seem to have the intestinal fortitude to handle that job

 

[Empirical Cane]

"My question is what were you searching for when you found this?... "

 

[pacusmc]

Meh
She aight

 

[Rellyrell]

IF THERE WAS EVER AN APPROPRIATE SONG TO MATCH A STORY, AND THAT JERRY SPRINGER CLIP, THIS MAY BE IT.

****NSFW****

 

[Empirical Cane]

BREAKING NEWS:

Texas Coach Legally Can't Take Washington State Job Unless He Wants To Leave Stripper Girlfriend Or Monkey

Getty Image Texas assistant coach Jeff Banks is unable to take the Washington State job without making a difficult decision about a monkey. If the Cougars

brobible.com

Big controversy brewing... huge!!!

Washington state law states the following:​

“It is illegal to possess potentially dangerous wild animals, such as monkeys, bears, tigers and venomous snakes.”

 

[Empirical Cane]

This is getting out of hand quickly.

Texas dropping bags AND they have a biting monkey for "on-campus" visits!!!???

The Amount Of Money That Texas Coach's Girlfriend Makes As Stripper Performing With Monkey Is Insane

Getty Image / iStockphoto Texas assistant coach Jeff Banks' girlfriend is a high-end stripper who often performs with her emotional support monkey. Known

brobible.com

Miami is getting lapped and laughed at by CFB. BoT simply won't give the program the resources necessary to compete at highest levels.

#WeNeedAMonkey

 

[305407cane]

Hugh freeze is intrigued

 

[Empirical Cane]

Hugh freeze is intrigued

Longtime customer.