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You'll get nothing but respect from me. I've seen what you'll do for a dollar.

Shut up, losers.

We'll give them no choice but to select us next year.

The dad joke thread is over.

That's bribery and that would be wrong. Want a donut?

Coupon?! I'll get you one fresh and hot off the line. Which if you've never had one, is a sublime experience.

You're getting a medal too.

Well, you could vote for me and I promise to recognize his contributions in my acceptance speech. I'm not sure exactly what powers and abilities come with the title, but I could probably give him some kind of medal or something. And you too, of course, for selflessly pointing out this injustice.