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Link City: Recapping The Best Day Ever

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Dan E. Dangerously

This board...it's my note
Maude
Joined
Nov 3, 2011
Messages
13,855
The date of January 23, 2013 may well go down as the best day in UM sports in over 10 years. That's not hyperbole, in fact it's science. The hilarious fashion in which the NCAA tripped over their own dicks, followed by our vivisection of Duke's alleged basketball team...It might have been the best day for UM's Athletic Department since we won the Rose Bowl.

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It didn't start out all that great. While everyone was geeked out for the basketball game later that night, we got word around noon that Jeremy Kerr had de-comitted and flipped over to FSU. It's never cool to lose a recruit and even worse to lose them to a rival like the semen-holes, but lets be cereal for just a minute. Do we really need 3 tight-ends in this class? I didn't think so either. Zero fucks are given by me about this. Good luck blocking Alquadin Muhammad off the edge for the next 4 years Jeremy. No really...GOOD LUCK!


A few hours later, while we were all still not caring about Jeremy Kerr, Mark Emmert held some press conference. Now, we always felt it was pretty fucked up that the NCAA was able to use testimony from Shapiro's bankruptcy court proceedings as evidence against us. Especially since people were purposefully subpoenaed by his attorney, Marie Elena Perez, to screw us over. But we should all be big fans of her now, because if she had not stupidly billed the NCAA for work she did for them this never would have come to light. Technically this made her a member of the enforcement staff and enforcement staff cannot compel testimony. That means any information gained from testimony in those bankruptcy hearings cannot be used against us. In other words...

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...we skate. No really, we're gonna fucking skate!

This won't eliminate everything against us (stuff like Kyle Wright's alleged testimony to the NCAA could probably still be used), but that ain't the point. Emmert admitted that there was at least one person deposed by Shapiro's attorney while she was billing them for work done, so there is no telling how much they will have to throw out immediately. It looks even worse since Ms. Perez doesn't have what you could call a stellar history.

President Shalala was not exactly impressed, and released this statement:

"Since the University first alerted the NCAA to the possibility of violations more than two years ago, we have been cooperative and compliant with the NCAA and, I believe, a model for how institutions should partner with NCAA staff during investigations. In addition to encouraging current and former staff members and student-athletes to cooperate with investigators, we have provided thousands of documents to the enforcement staff.

"I am frustrated, disappointed and concerned by President Emmert's announcement today that the integrity of the investigation may have been compromised by the NCAA staff.

"As we have done since the beginning, we will continue to work with the NCAA and now with their outside investigator hoping for a swift resolution of the investigation and our case.

"I want to thank our community for their continued support and patience.

"Stand with the U."

Don't think for a second that Donna is going to allow us to get anything close to a severe punishment now. I wouldn't be surprised if Donna appeals whatever punishment she doesn't approve of. That statement was basically her telling President Emmert, "Come at me bro". She's pretty much daring them to try and hammer us. This of course is coming off the heals of USC, UCLA, and Penn State all winning or starting appeals of recent punishments handed down.

What's great is the national media is now fully behind us, even the people who hate us. It's like a who's who of Miami haters sticking up for us. For example Stewart Mandel said this, and Dennis Dodd said that.

Gif that sums up this whole thing:

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Just amazing work by the Spoon-man.

So how did we cap off this day? Oh nothing, just by legitimately-raping top ranked Duke, beating them 90-63. Miami had never beaten a team ranked #1 before, so yea no biggie. It also gave us a 2 game cushion against everyone else in the standings, whatever that means. This is basketball I'm talking about here. The play of the game took place when the outcome had long been decided. According to Michael Casagrande of the Sun-Sentinel this moment...

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...was brought to you by none other than Warren Sapp. Yep Casagrande spoke to Shane Larkin after the game and said Warren screamed at them to "slap the floor" on D after Larkin shot some free throws. Warren Sapp is considered to be a grade A douche bag by many around here. That reputation was earned from general ass-hattery that he is solely responsible for. However, him requesting them do that should have earned him his Cane Card back from the fan base...if he ever even lost it.

I haven't even mentioned yet that Alex Collins, Matthew Thomas, Stacy Coley and god knows who else was there last night to witness it. What an unreal scene that was for them to be a part of. Those kids got to see something special together, which can only help us.

Shitty song that sums this whole day up:

[video=youtube;HOrCt2KVn1I]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOrCt2KVn1I[/video]
 
Last edited:

DFT31J

Redshirt Freshman
Premium
Joined
Nov 5, 2011
Messages
205
Love that Gif by Spooner!

The Dangerous One delivers the goods as usual.
 
G

Glacava75

Guest
Honestly, Maria Elena Perez, screwed Shapiro, Screwed the NCAA, and made a boat load of money for her alumni "The U". Can we say conspiracy and thank you counselor!
 

sfowler06

Junior
Joined
May 9, 2012
Messages
2,089
Honestly, Maria Elena Perez, screwed Shapiro, Screwed the NCAA, and made a boat load of money for her alumni "The U". Can we say conspiracy and thank you counselor!

I thought I was the only one thinking this. That she was behind this from the beginning and this was the perfect time to let it be known. No way she woulda fucked Miami like that.
 

LatinCane

Sophomore
Joined
Sep 4, 2012
Messages
765
Honestly, Maria Elena Perez, screwed Shapiro, Screwed the NCAA, and made a boat load of money for her alumni "The U". Can we say conspiracy and thank you counselor!

I thought I was the only one thinking this. That she was behind this from the beginning and this was the perfect time to let it be known. No way she woulda ****ed Miami like that.

I posted this yesterday on FB. Either she is a genius abd pulled a "Sleepers" on everyone involved or she is a total dumb ass greedy biatch! Either way, Thank You Maria Elena Perez!
 

Dan E. Dangerously

This board...it's my note
Maude
Joined
Nov 3, 2011
Messages
13,855
Honestly, Maria Elena Perez, screwed Shapiro, Screwed the NCAA, and made a boat load of money for her alumni "The U". Can we say conspiracy and thank you counselor!

I thought I was the only one thinking this. That she was behind this from the beginning and this was the perfect time to let it be known. No way she woulda ****ed Miami like that.

I posted this yesterday on FB. Either she is a genius abd pulled a "Sleepers" on everyone involved or she is a total dumb ass greedy biatch! Either way, Thank You Maria Elena Perez!
She either did her best "Sleepers" impression, or she Inceptioned Mark Emmert.
 
D

deleted3746

Guest
Good read/watch.

Felt like a dumbass not knowing what vivisection meant.

Thanks fugger.
 

Dan E. Dangerously

This board...it's my note
Maude
Joined
Nov 3, 2011
Messages
13,855
But see, I did the Ice Cube song in an old link city from last year. Also, someone started a thread somewhere with Ice Cube (don't remember who or which one) and I would've felt like I was jacking their idea. Also, I felt the lame Sponge Bob song fit my posting style.
 
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