The NCAA Sucks; Miami Loses 9 Scholarships over 3 Years

The NCAA Sucks; Miami Loses 9 Scholarships over 3 Years

Dan E. Dangerously
Dan E. Dangerously
Good job...good effort, NCAA. It only took you 798 days, or 114 weeks, since the Yahoo story broke to render a verdict. You guys suck. After 2 and a half years investigating, media posturing, and sanctimonious sports personalities getting cheap heat at our expense, the NCAA finally handed down Miami's punishment.


For a couple of years now "We Skate" has been the mantra on this board. However, once you self-impose 2 bowl bans, a Conference Championship Game appearance, and get your name dragged through the mud in the media, there's no such thing as skating. But this punishment that we received today from the NCAA is as close to it as you could get given our situation. Joe Rose announced on his radio show this morning on WQAM that football is only losing 9 scholarships total over 3 years (3 per year) and no further bowl ban, the effect on the program going forward will be negligible. Basketball only loses 1 scholarship in each of the next 3 years. The athletic department is also on probation for the next 3 years starting today. The real damage was the bad P.R. and uncertainty for the past 3 years. All of that hurt, but it's over now.

We've been pretty confident since January when this story broke that we weren't going to get the ban hammer from the NCAA. Back in June when The U was having it's day in court, we were still pretty confident that while we would feel the hit, it wouldn't be nearly as bad as initially feared in August of 2011. So today's judgment by the NCAA isn't all that surprising to us. The best thing about the ruling? All this B.S. is now over. It's feels pretty cool that Haith got a 5 game suspension, and that Hurtt, Hill, and Fernandez each got 2 year show-causes. Sucks for them.

UM hasn't released a statement as of yet, but I'm pretty sure this gif sums up what it will say:


To get an idea for how long this thing has taken give this a read:
  • The Miami Heat have won back-to-back NBA Championships (June 2012 and June 2013)
  • The Miami Dolphins have gone through three head coaches (Tony Sparano, Todd Bowles, Joe Philbin)
  • Reggie Bush played his entire career for the Miami Dolphins (the NCAA loves Reggie so much)
  • The world didn’t end on 12/21/12
  • The Royal Baby was conceived and born
  • Two Congresses have served in Washington, DC
  • Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria actually spent money on the roster, then sold it all off
  • The Marlins still aren’t winning (no winning seasons in that time span)
  • Trayvon Martin was shot, George Zimmerman was arrested and acquitted
  • The U.S. Senate passed a budget (first time in four years)
  • President Barack Obama won re-election
  • Detroit Filed for Bankruptcy
  • Casey Anthony was acquitted
  • The Miami Cannibal hit the news
  • The NBA solved it’s lockout
  • The NHL ended it’s lockout
  • The Miami Hurricanes have played two seasons and are two weeks from the start of a third

That was all written in August. Unreal. And all of this happened before Derrick Rose came back.

Tim Reynolds nailed why we didn't get hit all that hard yesterday with these tweets:




Basically, the investigators tried to pin $173,330 in violations on us. $90k of that was the salacious stuff in the Yahoo report pertaining to Antrel Rolle and Vince Wilfork. When you take away the $90k, we're left with the $83k figure that UM repaid to the Bankruptcy Trustee back in 2011. So that pretty much means the Committee on Infractions gave the investigators the gas face, and told them that "Self Corroboration" is complete bull**** (which we already knew). Meaning they couldn't use the the Rolle/Wilfork stuff. That, all the self-imposed stuff, and all the crap that got exposed back in January led to us winning this thing. Big victory for UM. A great big thank you to both Donna Shalala and to outside counsel Mike Glazier. I got one thing to say to him:

While I'm giving out thank yous, how 'bout head coach Al Golden? He's done yeoman's work in guiding UM through the turbulence. Remember that this story first broke before he had even coached a game. Now he's got us into the top 10 of the BCS Standings before these guys even got around to giving us our punishment. After receiving the news, Al was overheard reflecting on this whole sordid ordeal with some colleagues within the Hecht Center:


10 bucks says that afterwords he shrugged his shoulders and cued up the Kendrick Lamar verse on his zune player.

Now that all of that is out of the way, there's one more thing I gotta do. We've become acquainted with an amazing smorgasbord of douche-bags throughout this process. But now that everything is over, we'll never hear from them again. We might hear from some of them, but we won't give a **** about anything they have to say. So allow me at this time to honor these jerk-offs and take some inspiration from the late CMar by giving out "My **** Yous".

6. The NCAA:

Before I begin, a former UM basketball player has a question for you that's never been answered:


Dequan Jones deserved better.

Now that you're done investigating and punishing us because some players shared a bowl of Miso soup, you can get back to what you do best...making money off the backs of young athletes without compensating them. It sucks that you couldn't get around to us sooner, with your ruling an ex-marine ineligible and all. How many minutes did it take with your PR staff to decide to rule that guy eligible after all? By the way, good call on denying Kerwin Okoro his eligibility this season. After all, having your father and brother die isn't that tough of a thing to go through. The nerve of a kid wanting to be closer to what's left of his family while they're still alive. You finally caved a month later. After all of that, you managed to rule on the Jonathan Manziel stuff, the HaHa Clinton-Dix stuff, and you reversed your position on Penn State before you ever even got around to us. I can only assume you will do absolutely nothing about this. **** You.

5. Mark Emmert:


What an awful human being. Never trust a dude with a Newt Gingrich haircut. When this story first broke, you suggested that the death penalty was an option before the investigation even really started. Before we knew what was going on, your staff was leaking damaging information to the press to paint us in a bad light to the nation. Some of which was proven to be greatly exaggerated at best, and complete falsehoods at worst.

Both you and the NCAA's #2 man Jim Isch instructed investigators to take aggressive steps to nail us. Neither Mr. Isch, nor yourself took responsibility for the Maria Elena Perez bull****. One of your investigators wrote a letter to Shapiro's judge vouching for him to get a more lenient sentence. Throughout all of this it's been discovered that you're 10x as corrupt as we could ever hope to be, all while making a $1.7 million salary. And LOL at you not showing up for the conference call. You better not show up in South Florida in the near future or else Donna will finish you off:



Negged!!! And **** You.

4. Ameen Najjar:


What a ****. If you have a LinkedIn account, feel free to say hi to him. This is the guy who was actually following through on President Emmert's directive to "get creative" in his efforts to take us down. He was told by legal counsel NOT to have Shapiro's attorney force people to testify at the Bankruptcy proceedings. He did it anyway. The problem for him was that he was too much of a dumb-*** to cover his tracks.


LOL, this got him fired. Maybe next time you should consider deleting your messages and Emails. **** You.

3. Maria Elena Perez:


You're such a disgrace to your University in more ways than one. It takes a special kind of **** to formulate a plan to bring down your own university by subverting basic legal procedures. Pretty funny that this case started to crumble because of your own stupidity. Now you're in the sights of a Florida Bar grievance committee investigation, and could potentially be fined or better yet disbarred. Sorry 'bout your luck.

You're so fat and disgusting that I can't figure out what number is greater; the amount of chins on your face or how many fat rolls are on your arms. **** You.

2. Charles Robinson:

Image is NSFW so beware:

Don't remember who made this but it's great

LOL. What a joke. You said that, "It didn't matter", that you couldn't prove anything about the abortion allegation being true but ran with it anyway because, "it showed the depths to which Nevin was willing to go". Yea? How's the Pulitzer coming? Pretty sad when your shoddy work gets shredded by, in your words, a "fan blogger". It's ok though, Vish has junks of guys bigger than you in his stool so don't feel so bad.



Marcus Robinson is still waiting for his apology. Your dumbass still doesn't understand that Dequan Jones already signed his NLOI to UM 7 months before the date Shapiro claimed to have paid his family. **** You.

1. Nevin Shapiro:


Worst. Person. Ever. When the story broke you admitted that you were trying to get us the death penalty. That didn't happen. You ranted and raved from your prison cell about how you were going to bring us down, and it didn't happen. A couple months ago you went as low as running to known UM hater Alexander Wolff of S.I. to spread more crap about us. In fact, you're still running your mouth about us to the NCAA. LOL, you're even sending emails to Greg Cote from your jail the way, how's the wifi service in prison? Can you use your soap-on-a-rope as a hot spot?

The problem for you, Nevin is that nobody is listening anymore. You sounded rather jelly back in May when you realized we weren't going to be getting the punishment you wanted. You even admitted to committing perjury...LOL what? Sorry 'bout your luck bro. But look at the bright side 'lil Luke, you still got plenty of time (about 20 years worth) to come up with something else to accuse us of. We'll just be to busy watching Miami continue to play football games to really give ****. **** You Soul Nevin.

Gif that sums up my feelings for all of these people:


And one last time for old times sake...




Comments (56)


Tim Reynolds ‏@ByTimReynolds 19m

The NCAA has been told Miami accepts its sanctions. No appeal from Hurricanes. This saga, by and large, ends today.

3. Maria Elena Perez

Promptly add this lady to the list of "People who need to get hit by a bus."

You can see the rest of the list in the original post lol
The NCAA is garbage. This is exactly what corruption looks like and why people should have no control over others. In this BS system the less fortunate are always the only people ever hurt. Miami had served their time. They punished themselves greater than they ever should have and because the NCAA still wanted to fry them they gave them 9 scholarships knowing you don't sue over that. So this is how the NCAA rewards student athletes for working hard and making the NCAA more money. By taking 9 scholarships away during the next 3 years. 9 less fortunate people won't get to attend a top 50 ranked University in the nation.

I hope the NCAA burns to the ground. I hope Shalala still sues them.
sorry for those at work, I put a spoiler tag around the Charles Robinson photoshop
LOL @ taking Mark Emmertt's manhood!! And a big giant middle finger to all of the death penalty pundits! GO CANES!!!
Still too many scholies in my humble opinion.

**** the ncaa!

Tim Reynolds ‏@ByTimReynolds 19m

The NCAA has been told Miami accepts its sanctions. No appeal from Hurricanes. This saga, by and large, ends today.

Dmoney called it. Impressive. Makes me happier about his Derrick Griffin update