The More You Know...About Virginia Tech

The More You Know...About Virginia Tech

Dan E. Dangerously
Dan E. Dangerously
The Hurricanes have another one of those dreaded night games. This time they'll be traveling to Blacksburg, VA to face the Hokies. Lets see what's in store for us on Thursday night.


Last year's game against Virginia Tech typified everything wrong with this football program. We were 7-1, and would have all but wrapped up the Coastal with a win. This is also the game where I and several others lost all faith in Al Golden. I did my best to keep it to myself until we lost to Duke the following week, where we once again blew a chance to wrap up the division. Some people blamed the loss almost entirely on the special teams turnovers that Coley, Burns, and O'Donnell had in the 1st half. As if they were all returned for touchdowns or happened on our own goal line. Whatever happened to having a defense predicated on making stops and getting off the field on 3rd down? Instead we've been hoping/praying the opposing offense makes a mistake for the past 4 years.

1. Where they are in the standings/rankings:


Ever since the loss to Georgia Tech, the Yellow Jackets have dropped back-to-back games with Duke and UNC. I didn't watch either game, but I think it's safe to assume they didn't leave the center uncovered. Now all we have to do is win out, and have Georgia Tech lose another conference game. Sounds easy, right? The Coastal is as good as ours. The Hokies are coming off a 21-16 loss to Pitt. Here's what Pitt people are saying about them:

From: Cardiac Hill

Anson Whaley said:
...I won't speak for our writers that picked Pitt to win the game, but Pitt not only won but looked like a better team. To me, the game wasn't as close as the final score indicated and Pitt never trailed. The Panthers had to sweat it out after Blewitt's missed field goal and giving up a late touchdown. But over the course of the game, I just think Pitt looked like the better team. They had more total yards, their defense played a better game, and, more importantly (and this was really the difference in the game), they got touchdowns instead of having to settle for field goals. If the game is on the road, maybe there's a different result. But the Panthers looked like the superior team tonight....

Don't be fooled by the portions in bold. If we've learned anything about Virginia Tech over the past two decades it's that they look like a barely functioning ****** against everyone on their schedule until they play us. Every year the Hokies play us with the intensity of the Super Bowl. Here's what the Virginia Tech/Pitt game looked like:

2. What happened the last time Miami played Virginia Tech?


Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Here's what we said in our recap:

I said:
When Virginia Tech gets the ball back they don't waste any time moving the ball. Literally. They snap it before Miami's defense even gets lined up and gain 9 yards because of it. After back to back 11 yard completions to Willie Byrn, they get inside Miami's 40 yard line. A few plays later Perryman comes in on a blitz and drags down Thomas to set up 3rd and forever at the 32 yard line. Normally, you start thinking, "Ok, worst case scenario, they pick up 8 yards and kick a field goal". But then you remember what this defense has done (or not done) on 3rd and long for the past 3 years. So as crazy as the next play was, it shouldn't even be a surprise to you anymore. In fact, it should be expected from these guys. I'm not even going to say anything else about what happened next. This gif from some Hokie fan encapsulates it perfectly.



28-14 Hokies

There are certain things that well coached teams don't do. For instance, a well coached team doesn't give up 42 points to the team that is ranked 100th in scoring. A well coached team doesn't give up 549 yards and 26 first downs to the team that is ranked 81st in total offense. A well coached team doesn't give up 183 yards rushing and 4 touchdowns to the team that is ranked 110th in rushing offense. A well coached team doesn't give up 366 passing yards to a team that has Logan Thomas playing QB. Teams that are well coached don't melt down like we did that night when the division is on the line. They looked like they spent all week thinking about how *** they would (and did) look in those awful grey uniforms instead of actually playing the game. What we got was a performance devoid of a sense of urgency, and a complete lack of understanding of what was at stake.

3. Who to be scared of:


Kendall Fuller

Fuller was all-everything in highschool, and played like it last season as a true freshman. All he did in 2013 was lead the team in interceptions (6), get named ACC defensive rookie of the year, 1st team Freshman all-american, and 2nd team all ACC. Not bad. He's the youngest of 4 brothers, all of whom played at Virginia Tech. So now that he's the last one we won't have to worry about anymore Fuller kids at Virginia Tech. Not until they start making kids of their own, but they won't be able to play for at least another 15 years so we should be good. In the offseason, the ACC's official website came up with a list of 25 players to watch out for. Fuller checked in as the #14 person on that list. Here's the video they made for him:

If Kaaya gets pressured and isn't careful with the football, Fuller will be the guy to pick him off.

4. Player that will score against us:


Jeremy Brevard/USA Today

Isaiah Ford

You might remember this true freshman from the previous recruiting cycle. He was a WR from Jacksonville that de-committed from Louisville when Charlie Strong left. Our coaching staff ended up not giving him a committable offer, but the Hokies did and he's already paying dividends for them. He's 2nd on the team in receptions with 32, leads the team in yards with 424, and is tied for the most TD's on the team with 4. Not bad. This was him helping Trinity Christian beat Clearwater in the 3A sate title game last year.

He's good.

5. Person that will **** you off:


Shaban Athuman/The Roanoke Times

Michael Brewer

This guy sucks so bad it's not even funny. He somehow managed to not vomit all over himself against Ohio State, but since then he's been average at best. So it's going to really **** you off if this guy is able to carve up our defense. Kaaya, a true freshman, has thrown 9 picks and we're all still pretty mindful of the fact that he needs to protect the football better. Meanwhile Brewer is a RS Junior and has already thrown 11, giving him a 1:1 TD to INT ratio. The best play he's made in his life came where he picked up a fumble and ran it for a TD.


The ball bounced right to him. He sucks.

5. Some Guy:


Shaban Athuman/The Roanoke Times

Chase Williams

Williams is a RS Senior and currently leads the team in tackles with 54 through 7 games. He also leads the team in tackles for loss with 8.5, and is 3rd on the team in sacks with 3.5. In the above picture you can see him "attacking the head" which probably made his dad, Gregg Williams, all kinds of happy. Chase grew up in northern Virginia while his dad was still the defensive coordinator for Washington. He idolized Sean Taylor during that period and wore #21 when he played high school football at Loudon County.


He couldn't get #21 when he got to Virginia Tech, so now he wears #36, which Taylor wore his rookie year in the NFL. Here he is sniffing out a shovel pass against ECU in a losing effort.

7. If Virginia Tech was a scene from a Chris Farley movie, they would be:


The Fight Scene From Tommy Boy

Probably the worst thing that happened as a result of the Pell Grant sanctions in the mid 90's was the rise of Virginia Tech. While Butch was trying to manage being down 31 scholarships, he couldn't beat the Hokies to save his life. They beat us 5 straight times from 1995 to 1999. Once our talent got back to Miami levels, we reeled off 3 straight wins against them and all seemed right again. But those wins in the 90's ended any mystique the program had, and they've never had a reason to fear us since. Kinda like when Tommy goads Richard into a fight. Tommy is talking all kinds of junk thinking Richard will be scared of him. Nope. Richard goes to town on him and Tommy ends up looking like a **** fool for running his mouth


Box from The Key Play

They've owned us ever since. Virginia Tech has a 13-6 record against us dating back to 1995. Lane Stadium has pretty much been kryptonite for the Canes as well. Miami is just 2-7 in Blacksburg in that same time span, with the only wins coming in 2001 and 2005.

8. Official Internet meme for this game:

Feels Bad Man/Sad Frog



Comments (52)

great overview Thanks Dan. All the makings of another National Embarrassment!
Otherworldly as usual Dan.

I expect us to get Beemer'd tha fvck up come Thursday night.

Great point about our Pell Grant scandal invigorating an otherwise flaccid Vag Tek program. Similar to what our current impotence is gifting to FSU.

DMONEY! Pay this dude!
This is the fat idiot that's going to **** me off...

Dan you're an absolute trooper for doing these and continuing to provide so much entertaining content.

At this point of the Al Golden Error I don't know how you muster up the energy to do them.
Maybe it's the bye week talking but I'm starting to think we could win this one.

Someone please slap some sense into me before I get carried away.
And off the subject but I've always wondered why Golden wears a tie all the time. Is that like his own personal way of paying tribute to Paterno or something? I have to wear a tie at work but I despise wearing ties. The person who invented them should be shot and quartered. Sorry to go off topic but that huge pic of the Golden tie made me do it.
And off the subject but I've always wondered why Golden wears a tie all the time. Is that like his own personal way of paying tribute to Paterno or something? I have to wear a tie at work but I despise wearing ties. The person who invented them should be shot and quartered. Sorry to go off topic but that huge pic of the Golden tie made me do it.

The shirt and tie started for his mother. Otherwise, she thought he looked disheveled.
And off the subject but I've always wondered why Golden wears a tie all the time. Is that like his own personal way of paying tribute to Paterno or something? I have to wear a tie at work but I despise wearing ties. The person who invented them should be shot and quartered. Sorry to go off topic but that huge pic of the Golden tie made me do it.

I remember a while back in an interview he said his mom is the reason for him dressing up. His mom said something like he looked like a slob or something during a game. That's when he decided to start wearing long sleeve with a tie and khaki. IIRC
Virginia Tech's offenses absolute garbage...I mean like hot garbage, if they drop 500 yrds or 24+ points on us the staff should be fired Thursday night, leave them in Cow Country; no excuses to lose to this crap team
The slurpers will be out in full force fully erect if U beats this complete garbage team... AD James will get Al's balls. A win over VT could be a victory for Al to hang his hat on for years to come - especially when coupled with that sick blowout to DUUUUUUKE. #trendingHorizontally
We win this one. They have zero offense. Coastal remains wiiddeeee open. Who would've thought
Gonna be a tough one for Kaaya. True frosh in Blacksburgh vs Foster def. just an overall tough spot.
I don't know who I hate more, Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, or Fat Al.


Good work, Dan.
VT sucks even worse than the Canes.. and they will still probably beat us. I'm gonna start drinking now, I hope to be comatose by the fourth quarter so my tv doesn't get smashed and the **** cat doesn't get thrown through the window. What the **** happened that we started expecting to lose to ****** teams?
This team needs a road win against a ****** team to get us right back into the thick of things in our division?

Time for the usual pants-pooping by our coaching staff.