The More You Know...About North Carolina

The More You Know...About North Carolina

Dan E. Dangerously
Dan E. Dangerously
the 8th ranked Miami Hurricanes take their act on the road to play a struggling UNC squad in Chapel Hill this Saturday. Let's take a closer look at the Tar Heels.


The Tar Heels are currently on a bumpy ride on the struggle bus this season. Forgive me if I don't give a ****, not because they just skated on blatant academic fraud charges from the NCAA, but also because we owe these guys a beatdown of epic proportions as retribution from the game in 2015.



Marquise Williams isn't there anymore, and neither is Ryan Switzer. They are also without eleventy-billion players due to injury. Too ******* bad. They thought they were being cute. Too bad for their teammates they still have to play us. There needs to be a reckoning. A thrashing so severe where no quarter is provided to anyone wearing powder blue this Saturday. I want to hang 80 on these bums with no less than 10 unsportsmanlike penalties in the process. Basically, I want to be able to watch replays of this upcoming game with Misfits songs providing the soundtrack.

1. Where they are in the standings/rankings:


Through 8 games UNC has only 1 win, a road victory against Old Dominion. That means UM has as many victories in their place as they do and we've yet to even play there.
The Heels just got the doors blown off them by Virginia Tech. Here's what the Hokies are saying about them:

From: Gobbler Country

Roy Hatfield said:
...The Tar Heels were plagued by penalties all afternoon. They had multiple false start calls (thanks Lane Stadium), and gave up sack after sack. North Carolina quarterback, Chazz Surratt, was hurt early in the game and Brandon Harris played decent in stretches. Harris, then got hurt and Surratt was forced to reenter the game. Surratt put the ‘Heels on the board for the first time early in the fourth quarter. Surratt hooked up with Anthony Ratliff for a 43 yard bomb that prevented the Hokies’ shutout. It also appeared to give Bud Foster some serious heartburn....

Here's what the game looked like:

UNC sucks

2. What happened the last time Miami played UNC?


From the AP:

Malik Carney hopped up and down in the middle of the North Carolina locker room, joyous teammates bouncing off him in the postgame celebration .

With good reason -- since he thwarted any hope Miami had at a comeback.

Carney knocked the ball out of quarterback Brad Kaaya's hand to snuff out the final Miami possession, and North Carolina ran out the clock to beat the 16th-ranked Hurricanes 20-13 on Saturday and move into first place in the Atlantic Coast Conference's Coastal Division.

"It was now or never," Carney said. "The defense had to step up."

Carney got past Miami left tackle Trevor Darling, hit Kaaya from behind to force the turnover and Elijah Hood's 13-yard run for a first down with 1:02 left sealed it for the Tar Heels (5-2, 3-1). Mitch Trubisky threw for 299 yards and two touchdowns for North Carolina, while Bug Howard had 10 catches for 156 yards for North Carolina.


That gif perfectly encapsulates Kaaya's tenure here. He can make every throw, but just couldn't get the job done with the game on the line.

3. Who to be scared of:


Anthony Ratliff-Williams

Both of Carolina's quarterbacks suck and with all their injuries, this guy is probably their biggest offensive threat. After Austin Proehl's injury, he's taken up the slack as their leader in receiving yards and touchdowns. He also returns kicks for them, and scored a TD against Louisville a few weeks ago

4. Player that will score against us:


Michael Carter

This freshman is averaging 6.0 yards per carry and has over 400 yards on the season, all while splitting carries with Jordon Brown. Between the two of them they only have two 100 yard games. But they've combined for 10 touchdowns on the ground, with Carter getting 7 of them. Given our troubles stopping the run this year he will probably have a pretty good game. He also scored on a pretty nifty helicopter leap into the endzone against Cal.


5. Some guy you've probably heard of:


Jordan Cunningham

Cunningham was a 2013 kid from U School that we couldn't really recruit because of numbers problems that year involving the NCAA. We only went after Stacy Coley and got him so big deal, right? Cunningham ended up at Vanderbilt where he did nothing. He transferred to UNC last year and is playing more now because everyone else is injured.

6. Person that will **** you off:


Cayson Collins

Carolina has a trio of athletic linebackers that are pretty solid. Collins currently leads the ACC and is tied for 23rd in the nation with 44 solo tackles through 8 games this season. But he gets special recognition this week because of all the flexing he did on us two years ago. This is him against Notre Dame earlier this year, where he tallied 15 tackles in a losing effort.

7. If UNC was a character in a Brendan Fraser movie, they would be:


Matt Damon in School Ties

What a smarmy pack of douche-bags and ***-hats. UNC was part of a failed Tobacco Road cabal that was intent on keeping us out of the ACC. They felt our addition to the league would tarnish their pristine academic reputations. UNC fans were also some of the most mouthy of our conference foes when it came to our own NCAA nonsense with Shapiro. So when it came to light that they were running an immense cheating scandal where athletes took fictitious classes...well...I find that amusing. It's pretty easy to hate people that try to portray themselves as honest and trustworthy when in fact, they are corrupt ********.

8. Official Internet meme for this game:

High Expectations Asian Father



Comments (51)

There needs to be a reckoning. A thrashing so severe where no quarter is provided to anyone wearing powder blue this Saturday. I want to hang 80 on these bums with no less than 10 unsportsmanlike penalties in the process.

This a thousand times over.

I’ll take any kind of win, but a blowout would really be nice
Order is returning to the universe. Still miss Yama Yama though..,
Cot **** i missed these threads! Dan is byke!
they are giving up 37 points a game in conference. will be a **** shame if we don't absolutely obliterate them
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So happy we beat Syracuse, in no small part because it means we get more of these. Thanks, Dan!
UNC is hot trash. Wow they're bad.
Would love a game as much as over by mid-3rd quarter. Let’s see a defensive or special teams TD!

Richt 52, Academic Advisers 13
We should choke them out and ask them "What is oxygen?....i know not of what you speak!" I would like us to run for over 250 but not sure that happens. Hate running from the gun all the time

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Thanks dan enjoy these!

The more you know!!
Beat them down and curb stomp them... and then the reserves can come in and stomp them some more. No mercy for these **** boys.
I want blood. I won't be satisfied winning in the same fashion we did the last 3 weeks.
We owe these ******** an *** kicking, team need to come out focused and put this game away early.
I'll take a W, where the backups get some burn, and no injuries.
Great job.

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