Link City - Al Golden Is In Your Mouth

Link City - Al Golden Is In Your Mouth

Dan E. Dangerously


What a day. So awesome to watch it unfold as the day went on. Props to Andrew for getting our server situation in order so we didn't crash as the L.O.I.'s poured in. Props to DMoney, USNAVYCANE, DrJay23, Problem2, and Decleated for posting recruiting news the past 3 weeks and all day yesterday. And of course, respect to the man that runs **** in the 305, Al Motherfuckin Golden. It's his world, we just live in it.

We were expecting just a handful of decisions to be announced today that effected this class since most of the class was pretty much done. The first of those was from Josh Harvey-Clemons choosing between UF, FSU, UGA, and the U. It was a long shot, but we got the last visit and we took our shot. He "chose" the local school in UGA, but just like helicopter moms and dads, this kid apparently has a helicopter grandpa who wouldn't sign the L.O.I. The family is trying to push him to UF but JHC is having none of it.

[video=youtube;cIeqRSPgMHw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIeqRSPgMHw[/video]


Oh the drama....not the start I had hoped for. Next up was Tracy Howard.

For the better part of a year, this kid reeked of a recruit that wanted nothing more than to spurn the hometown team. So when we heard that we we're getting a visit from him, that it went well, and that we we're now 50/50 with UF for his final choice, not many people bought it.




(photoshop by Ajax)

"No Fucking way". "He's just trolling us". That's what I and others kept telling ourselves. I'm always pessimistic about this ****. So the moment of truth came, and Tracy was trolling...everyone else.

[video=youtube;BhBcwQ5jN34]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhBcwQ5jN34[/video]


Best part of that video, "Why not win in my hometown, my city. Why not do it there?" Huge win. We already had an awesome DB class and this sent it over the top.

Instead of being content, Golden decided that he felt like dicking over Louisville, so he flipped Daquan Ivery from them.



Reggie Northrup's commitment has been softer than baby **** for the last month. You'd have to be retarded to not see it. So it wasn't all that shocking when he flipped to FSU. Also, if you got all jammed up about this, I'm pretty sure you have a vagina. No need to get mad when AG is on the case.

Al let Virginia Tech commit Jawand Blue know what the score was and he jumped at the chance to be a Cane and quickly accepted.

[video=youtube;LsRTzsiFbRs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsRTzsiFbRs[/video]

He didn't care that Miami came at him late, he was even willing to greyshirt if the Canes didn't have anymore spots for him. He joins Robert Lockhart as the 2nd Tech commit to flip to UM in less than a month. As the video above showed, Blue had a difficult conversation with VT coach Charley Wiles. Wiles got so butt-hurt he went in on the kid with the following gems:

  • “You lied to me,”
  • “This doesn’t make sense,”
  • “I’ve never felt more betrayed or lied to.”
  • “You want to go to a program that wins bowl games, a clean program, that dominates in the ACC?”

and my favorite

  • “It would be a blessing for you to go away for school. I promise. You’ve got homeboys here…We need you. We’re counting on you.”




Beamer tried to save face and talked to Heather Dinich to deflect and downplay what happended.



  • "...But I found it highly unusual that a newspaper guy would be tweeting a private conversation that was being had there. And then I'm interested in how the newspaper guy got onto their conversation, and us not be aware of it. It's a little bit unusual. We're checking into that right now."




It's also highly unusual for a person's scrotum to be attached to their neck. Why don't you go check on that Frank?

With Avery Young choosing Auburn, our day was complete. In all, 24 kids faxed L.O.I.'s in, joining the 9 early entrants to make an impressive haul of 33. It was a consensus top 10 class (Rivals, Scout, and ESPN) and considering the Shapiro bullshit, top notch. But Golden doesn't want us to be content as he explained in his signing day press conference.

[video=youtube;L8rX5CMWHHk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8rX5CMWHHk[/video]



[video=youtube;1CoDq6Mj8Jw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CoDq6Mj8Jw[/video]


  • "Are we not supposed to beat Alabama, Florida, Florida State down here? Five rings in that office down the hall … that's what we're trying to get back to. Add those guys together they don't have five rings. Let's be proud of who we are. We're not a large state institution. We're a private institution. We have everything you could want in a college town coupled with anything you can want from a cultural aspect of a city. Plus an education, 20 students in a classroom, small campus setting. That's hard to beat. We have to start thinking like we're the University of Miami again."



What a human.

Gif that summed up signing day:

http://www.twistappel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/yeah-****-yeah.gif
 

Comments (26)

One of the greatest articles ever written!

Kudos!
 
this is how all articles should be written
 
C
What is the significance of the the title of the article? I am just curious. To me, it sounds ridiculous, but there must be a reason you worded it the way you did...
 
Again, I just want to say this is the greatest article ever written
 
I love Link City articles.
 
great article as usual

I too am curious of the meaning behind the title
 
If your a Gaytor or CrimiNole, Al Golden will shoot a load in your mouth, spank your ass and call you a *****. Then make you toss a little salad.

(that's how I interpreted the title) ;)
 
These are my favorite articles. Never disappoints.
 
gates, vatech, and seminole fans are mad... gates mad we took their two main recruits.. tracy and your boy...
 
Love these articles Dan E.

Great work.
 

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