The schedule is here. Other than Spring ball it's the only interesting thing about the off-season once signing day is over. This is the moment where you give each game the once over and start checking W's and L's next to each school's name. It's kinda fun, so that's what we'll be doing.
So here it is:
* ACC game
The Canes start the season off with a Friday night home match-up with FAU. I can't think of a better way to start this season off than to Salute the Hoot. The Friday night opener also gives Miami an extra day of rest for those sister-fucking twats in Gainseville the next week. Don't be surprised if UiF adjusts their schedule with whatever dumpster-fire of a team they play in their opener too.
Last time we played Florida:
Chances of Al Golden crying to the media about a field goal: 0
Next is the 1st of 2 byes for Miami falling on September 14, which is Yom Kippur. Apparently UM has a tradition of not having games on this weekend. Usually, Miami works in a Thursday night game during this week but this year they requested no home games on Thursday's because of the embarrassment of small crowds.
Did I say 2 byes? Make that 3 because UM hosts Savannah St. next. I don't want to say this team sucks, but last year they lost to Oklahoma St. and Florida St. by a combined score of 139-0. They went 1-10 with the lone victory being against Edward Waters College 42-35. the saddest thing about doing research into this game is discovering that Edward Waters College is a thing.
The following week UM travels to play USF (Not South Florida because they are in Tampa). This game completes the awful 5 game series the late Paul Dee agreed to, so there's that. Georgia Tech rambles their way into Whateverthey'recallingourstadiumnow to complete a 5 game stretch where we don't leave the state of Florida. We haven't lost to Georgia Tech since Robert Marve was our starter. Canes by Ruthlessness.
After another bye week, UM goes on the road to face UNC on a Thursday night, which after Florida, is our toughest of the 1st 6 games. So reasonably speaking, how can we not be 5-1, 4-2 at worst after 6 games? Because we'll be 6-0 you mope that's why! 10 days of rest later UM hosts Wake Forest. Wake Forest sucks, another W for the good guys.
The month of November is going to be in your mouth, with 5 games in 5 weeks.
We haven't beaten FSU since Labor Day '09 and It'll be tough since it's in Joke Campbell, but Miami always plays well up there. Also, Jimbo is still their coach;
Advantage UM.
Next is Virginia Tech. We haven't beaten Virginia Tech in consecutive years since the Dorsey years of 2000-2002. That **** ends on November 9th, W. After another long walk up to Duke, UM hosts Virginia on November 23rd. We haven't beaten UVA since 2009. AJ Highsmith played QB in that game. I'd have a joke for that, but I'm not that funny. Stephen Morris doesn't know what it's like to beat Virginia. That **** ends on his Senior day, W.
6 days later UM travels to Pitt on the day after Thanksgiving. Cannot wait to go to this game. I'm currently taking requests to host me for the entire week so I don't have to pay for a hotel. I plan on going to as many Pittsburgh Penguins games as I can all week, whilst eating all your Thanksgiving leftovers. All your turkeys are belong to me. Anyways, people are already leery about this game since it's on short a week and will most likely be cold. Al Golden ain't got time fa' that. W.
Our D can only get better after last years awful display, and our O should light up the scoreboard. There are only 2 things standing in our way from playing in the ACC title game: Stephen Morris and Duke Johnson suffering long-term injuries. Other than that, I'm making plans for Charlotte.
So here it is:
| 2013 MIAMI HURRICANES FOOTBALL SCHEDULE | ||
| DATE | OPPONENT | SITE |
| Aug. 30 | FLORIDA ATLANTIC | SUN LIFE STADIUM |
| Sept. 7 | FLORIDA | SUN LIFE STADIUM |
| Sept. 14 | -OPEN DATE- | |
| Sept. 21 | SAVANNAH STATE | SUN LIFE STADIUM |
| Sept. 28 | at USF | Tampa, Fla. |
| Oct. 5 | GEORGIA TECH* | SUN LIFE STADIUM |
| Oct. 12 | -OPEN DATE- | |
| Oct. 17 | at North Carolina* | Chapel Hill, N.C. |
| Oct. 26 | WAKE FOREST* | SUN LIFE STADIUM |
| Nov. 2 | at Florida State* | Tallahassee, Fla. |
| Nov. 9 | VIRGINIA TECH* | SUN LIFE STADIUM |
| Nov. 16 | at Duke* | Durham, N.C. |
| Nov. 23 | VIRGINIA* | SUN LIFE STADIUM |
| Nov. 29 | at Pittsburgh* | Pittsburgh, Pa. |
The Canes start the season off with a Friday night home match-up with FAU. I can't think of a better way to start this season off than to Salute the Hoot. The Friday night opener also gives Miami an extra day of rest for those sister-fucking twats in Gainseville the next week. Don't be surprised if UiF adjusts their schedule with whatever dumpster-fire of a team they play in their opener too.
Last time we played Florida:
Chances of Al Golden crying to the media about a field goal: 0
Next is the 1st of 2 byes for Miami falling on September 14, which is Yom Kippur. Apparently UM has a tradition of not having games on this weekend. Usually, Miami works in a Thursday night game during this week but this year they requested no home games on Thursday's because of the embarrassment of small crowds.
Did I say 2 byes? Make that 3 because UM hosts Savannah St. next. I don't want to say this team sucks, but last year they lost to Oklahoma St. and Florida St. by a combined score of 139-0. They went 1-10 with the lone victory being against Edward Waters College 42-35. the saddest thing about doing research into this game is discovering that Edward Waters College is a thing.
The following week UM travels to play USF (Not South Florida because they are in Tampa). This game completes the awful 5 game series the late Paul Dee agreed to, so there's that. Georgia Tech rambles their way into Whateverthey'recallingourstadiumnow to complete a 5 game stretch where we don't leave the state of Florida. We haven't lost to Georgia Tech since Robert Marve was our starter. Canes by Ruthlessness.
After another bye week, UM goes on the road to face UNC on a Thursday night, which after Florida, is our toughest of the 1st 6 games. So reasonably speaking, how can we not be 5-1, 4-2 at worst after 6 games? Because we'll be 6-0 you mope that's why! 10 days of rest later UM hosts Wake Forest. Wake Forest sucks, another W for the good guys.
The month of November is going to be in your mouth, with 5 games in 5 weeks.
We haven't beaten FSU since Labor Day '09 and It'll be tough since it's in Joke Campbell, but Miami always plays well up there. Also, Jimbo is still their coach;
Advantage UM.
Next is Virginia Tech. We haven't beaten Virginia Tech in consecutive years since the Dorsey years of 2000-2002. That **** ends on November 9th, W. After another long walk up to Duke, UM hosts Virginia on November 23rd. We haven't beaten UVA since 2009. AJ Highsmith played QB in that game. I'd have a joke for that, but I'm not that funny. Stephen Morris doesn't know what it's like to beat Virginia. That **** ends on his Senior day, W.
6 days later UM travels to Pitt on the day after Thanksgiving. Cannot wait to go to this game. I'm currently taking requests to host me for the entire week so I don't have to pay for a hotel. I plan on going to as many Pittsburgh Penguins games as I can all week, whilst eating all your Thanksgiving leftovers. All your turkeys are belong to me. Anyways, people are already leery about this game since it's on short a week and will most likely be cold. Al Golden ain't got time fa' that. W.
Our D can only get better after last years awful display, and our O should light up the scoreboard. There are only 2 things standing in our way from playing in the ACC title game: Stephen Morris and Duke Johnson suffering long-term injuries. Other than that, I'm making plans for Charlotte.
